Stress and other stuff

It is getting to be the end of the semester and I feel the stress load higher now thenI have ever felt it. yeah it means the year is winding down and the realization that I will be a nurse very soon is a scary yet happy thought. I finally feel like I am moving on to bigger and better things. I mean before I felt stuck and like I wasn't moving anywhere with anything. but now I am moving... but there are things that I feel are holding me back.

I feel that I need someone to talk with me about everything that life has given, yes even the bad things. I need someone who can hold me a comfort me, who can love me for me and be mine forever. I have felt this even stronger lately especially now since first presidency is really starting to focus on the singles in the church and anywhere else. The new era came out with a bunch of articles about marriage and dating and so forth and the conference turns up to pretty much focus on families and the importance of them.

I know I am meant to find someone and have a great family, but it is the process that is hard for me. I think most guys view me as quiet and one that keeps to herself. but the truth is I love to get out there I love to hang out. I just don't always know what to say or do.

going along with a blog post by one of my favorite cousin's Ember. she talking about how the relief society lesson focuses on the importance of scripture study. I believe that I tend to be a happier person when I do read the scripures and I believe that people see that I am a happier person.

I also realized that my main goal in life right now is technically not to get through school and have a stable job. there is something even more important, which is gaining the worthiness to someday recieve temple blessings. I want so much to get those blessings for I Know that it is important.

when I think about the temple and read the scriptures I feel more at ease and relaxed for I tend to be a tense person when speaking to those I don't know or worried or something like that. but I feel soo much better and feel that life really does have a reason.

as of tomorrow my sister melanie would have been away for 10 months. time sure does fly and she will be home in 81/2 months. wow. I look forward to reading her e-mails every week. that is always what I look forward to on mondays. she always has some sort of quote or scripture for me that just helps make my day 100 times better. I truly miss her and I am glad that she is out there doing what she is doing. helping others find the gospel so they can have better lives.

Ayleen